A Jets Plan to Repair, Rebuild, and Reimagine One of The Worst Teams in NFL History

Hope alone will not save the New York Football Jets. But, even for the Jets, having a plan (potentially), you are provided real improvements—like future operational offset, loss-decline adjusted years. Unfortunately for Jets fans, decades of annualized, loss-inflated years have led to a lack of confidence in the franchise and lowered expectations. 

As expected, Shaun Donovan has a plan for everything, and under his administration, the Jets will once again, for the first time, become a model NFL franchise.

Predictably, the New York Jets went 2-14 last year, claiming the second-worst record in the National Football League. The Jets have had one winning season in the last decade and haven’t made the playoffs since 2010—a longer postseason drought than any other team in the NFL. 

Pain and years of frustration, decades of paper bags over fans’ faces, and Just End The Season chants have made New York Jets faithful start to lose the faith —  but fortunately, The Man With The Plan, Shaun Donovan, has a 10,000-word plan to fix even the New York Jets.

Yet, despite his health plan’s commitment to make New York City the world’s leader in life sciences, time travel to address a seemingly unending series of costly mistakes is currently not a viable possibility. But we must explore what has gone wrong in the past to move forward in a way that REBUILDS the fan bases’ strust, REPAIRS the broken systems at the heart of Jets dysfunction, and REIMAGINES the Jets as a 21st century franchise.

A Look Back

Previous years serve as sad reminders for Jets fans that the days of Weeb Ewbank are well behind us. Most recently, Adam Gase and his team were unable even to lose correctly to put the franchise in position to draft Trevor Lawrence. 

Remember in 2000? When new Jets Head Coach Bill Belichick took over the reins, but walked away just days into the job to lead the New England Patriots, and ushered in the Eric Mang-genius era, Rex Ryan foot-capades, and Adam Gase’s most recent administration. Shaun Donovan remembers.

In comes Mark Sanchez, 12 years later, dropping back to pass on Thanksgiving Day against those same Patriots and promptly went face-first into a 300-pound backside and fumbled the ball on national television. 

Lunacy! That event was so humiliating it even caused Fireman Ed to quit as a super fan. The same super fan who had sat through the Dan Marino fake spike game and watched Jets conquering hero Joe Namath drunkenly harass a reporter on national television had finally had enough. 

Faithful Jets fans have endured Geno Smith broken jaws, Brett Favre text messages, and their strength coach tripping a player on a punt return. The Jets do not just lose — they rip out their fans’ souls.

Oh, but it can get better.

Our New York Jets face a series of solvable problems, and a second high-performing NFL team would provide significant benefits to the city. There is the potential for a massively beneficial partnership between the Jets and New York City. For years we have watched as the challenges facing the team have mounted. The current Mayoral administration is so focused on New England sports that it has been seemingly unaware that the New York Jets play football in New Jersey.  JetBlue’s NY Jets themed airplane has logged far more touchdowns than the Jets offense since its first year in the air. Season tickets have been reserved for only the wealthiest New Yorkers and New Jerseyans, hidden behind massive Personal Seat License and parking permit costs. 

Look, the Jets have had to share the concrete blob of Metlife Stadium with the NY Giants, which is still widely known as Giants Stadium. And worst of all, for years fans have been promised that a Super Bowl winning team is just a season away. It is time for New York City to take charge of this burgeoning sports dynasty, first by moving the Jets to New York City.

So, after securing this move, the Donovan Administration will adopt the following plans and programs to truly make the Jets New York City’s team, and ensure that they perform at the highest level:

  • Bring the Jets to NYC: Within 2 years of being elected, the city will begin construction on a multi-purpose Rich Kotite Stadium on Governors Island, adjacent to Andrew Yang Hotel & Casino which will be built simultaneously.  This will be a state-of-the-art facility complete with a full cover and climate control system to allow competition any time of year. We will ensure that more than 50% of all power used by the stadium is generated by renewable energy, including solar and wind power generated on the roof of the building.

    With this facility, our city will be able to host more than just Jets games. It will empower our city by hosting other non-Jets events like the NFL Playoffs, Super Bowl, the Olympics, NCAA championship games, MLS championships, FIFA events and more. The construction, maintenance and event hosting of the stadium will create thousands of quality union jobs and billions in revenue for the city. Shaun Donovan’s extensive experience in housing and urban development will ensure a high impact, cost-effective plan and execution of this project.
  • Infrastructure Improvements: In addition to a Jets-specific monorail along the Ronkonkoma line from Long Island straight to Governors Island, the Biden infrastructure bill will provide funding to construct a series of bridges and tunnels between the New Jersey and New York sides of the Hudson River, enabling fans from both states to enjoy decades of exciting Jets football. In the short term, we will work with Governor Murphy to build an intricate system of helicopters and ferries that will transport fans from both states. 
  • Democratize Football: The Donovan Administration will reimagine how to run an NFL franchise by purchasing a majority stake in the organization, making the New York Jets the first democratically controlled NFL franchise in history. Rather than the previously attempted revolving door of failed General Managers, Jets fans will have a say in all major personnel decisions, ensuring that New York City’s football team reflects the city’s wishes. No longer will Jets fans be forced to boo the team at the NFL draft or wear bags on their heads when their beloved franchise takes Kyle Brady over Warren Sapp or passes on Dan Marino.  Major personnel decisions will be made by referendum, while day to day operations will be managed by the Department of Parks and Recreation, as well as a rotating council of elected season ticket holders.  

    But we cannot wait—the city should immediately begin the process by holding an election in the coming weeks before the NFL Draft to determine whether the Jets will take Zach Wilson, Justin Fields, Jamarr Chase, Devonta Smith, or trade the second overall pick.
  • Reimagine the team’s name: The city will hold a referendum using Ranked choice voting to change the team’s name, in order to differentiate from the more successful Giants.  Similarly, the team’s colors will be determined by some of the city’s highest-performing 3k and Pre-K students. 
  • As Mayor, Shaun Donovan will personally attend every home Jets game on Governors Island using NYPD helicopters and police boats, transforming a protocol previously used only to transport Mayors to gyms in their home neighborhoods. This will allow our administration to have an ear to the ground on all things Jets and give everyday New Yorkers the chance to make their voice heard with our administration.
  • The Donovan Administration will subsidize the cost of season tickets to allow the New York Jets to truly be every New Yorker’s team. This cost will be offset by increased ticket prices for New Jersey residents and congestion pricing leading to an  increased toll for all New Jersey drivers crossing the George Washington and Verrazano Bridges, and the Lincoln and Holland Tunnels into New York City for any reason whatsoever.
  • The Donovan Administration will make the Gang Green (possibly Gang yellow, pink, orange or a combination decided by 3 and 4 year olds) the greenest football fanbase in America. This will include renewable energy powering Kotite stadium and Yang Hotel & Casino as well as providing electric powered vehicles for all team travel and events. Excess renewable energy will either be stored in stadium batteries or returned to the grid. We will partner with recyclable manufacturers to print all season tickets on recycled materials such as discarded Ray McGuire mailers. 

The 2nd part of making the New York Jets a championship team will be focused on the specific personnel and budgeting that make up the Jets franchise. Shaun Donovan’s experience in the Office of Management and Budget in the Obama administration will allow his team to help establish a world-class sports organization with minimal waste and maximum effect relative to investment. New York City is the greatest city in the world, and we want every free agent and draft pick to want to move here to play for our team. The following programs will help us win a Super Bowl.

  • Utilize our unique assets: To attract high caliber players and staff to New York City, Shaun Donovan will partner with local businesses and organizations to provide a variety of benefits to athletes. Players will be given the opportunity to partner with local delis, restaurants, and bars to sell the naming rights for sandwiches, pizza toppings, and mason jar cocktails in Williamsburg.
  • The city will issue MetroCards with photos of career highlights and short bios. MTA Stations will display player stats and franchise trivia periodically, especially during games.
  • Jets Stadium and its surrounding area will become the most high profile 15 minute neighborhood in the city, and help serve as a model as the Donovan Administration transforms the way we support our communities. Everything a player or local resident could need from schooling to health care to gaming tables will be found within 15 minutes of the stadium.
  • The Donovan Administration will organize a working group to help stabilize the Jets leadership, where there have been 3 Head Coaches in four years. This will be a joint effort between the first season ticket holder elected council and the Department of Parks and Recreation.

Finally, it is critically important that when dealing with a franchise as bad as the New York Football Jets, we remember to have a sense of humor. 

In that spirit have a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, 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very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Happy April Fool’s Day. 

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